Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Down, but not out

I haven't left blogger, just am not keeping up on it. Though that may change when I buy a computer, which I may do by October....

Folk Fest was awesome, at least the one day I was there was. The weather was perfect. What a selling point. To sit under the shade of a tree while looking at a perfect blue sky and listening to great music, what a way to spend a day. I am totally sold on it.

Went to Kenora for a week and got the best tan of my life spending most of my time in the shade!! That sun is powerful. Am really glad I have air conditioning, or I wouldn't have survived the last week. And being near Kenora (but actually in the country) has spoiled my city life. I always knew I didn't want to stay here forever, but now I'm hankering to get out.
But I'll be here a while. Am getting out to cottage country for the long weekend though. Woohoo!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Update

BB boy got an airconditioner. Which means his windows are closed all the time. Yeah! Haven't had any incidences since May anyway.

I am going to the Folk Festival for the first time tomorrow. It's one of those things I was kind of interested in, but not enough to cough up the ticket price. But I scored a free ticket for volunteering!! So I'll go on Friday. It's even a day pass.

Umm...there was something else. But I forgot.

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Monarchs

I saw a monarch butterfly a few days ago. It sat still on a lilac bush for a minute while I just gazed at it. It was wonderful. I've never had a chance to see one so close up for so long before. They have spotted bodies. I didn't know that before. It was a beautiful moment.

What a wonderful world.

Friday, June 01, 2007

We Don't Know Who He Is Or What He's Capable Of.....

OK. I know some of you were giving me that message already, but it sounds so much more serious coming from a cop. The BB dude shot at me again (on my birthday!! the nerve) and I called the cops the next day. When I asked about warning the neighbours, the above title is what she said. So that ended my flyer idea pretty quickly.

Thanks to rj's comment, I've been thinking very carefully about what it is to live in the inner city. And I realized, though I still insist that the fear of this area is overblown, I do live with a higher sense of caution here than I did when I lived in North Kildonan last year. I remember walking down Henderson Highway to the corner store, in the dark, once, and realizing I felt really relaxed. As I thought about it, I realized that was because there were no other people on the street (they were all likely too scared to come out of their houses), so I just felt really safe. I didn't have to worry if some person on the street was going to leave me alone or not. It was a nice feeling.

Having said that, I feel pretty safe everywhere in Winnipeg by day, although in my neighbourhood I do keep an eye out. I've been doing it so long, I don't really think of it any more. I want to emphasize I don't feel fear, for in seven years of walking the hookers' streets, past the worst Main Street bars (sometimes after 10pm), and passing by sniffers or sometimes waiting at the same bus stop as them, I haven't had any problems. Some of the sniffers and a hooker or two are people I've gotten to know a bit at church, and once you meet them, they're not so scary, though you have to be wise because people high on sniff are not always in control of themselves and can be dangerous.

Basically, I pray constantly. I literally and regularly ask God if it's a good idea to walk or not when going out at night, or on particular streets. Recently, my route for walking to church on Sunday became an issue. I like it because it is scenic, but there is prostitute action there that wasn't there before. I walked that way a couple of Sundays, making sure I didn't act like a hooker (meaning pay NO attention to the passing cars), then started to feel uncomfortable, and after praying felt I shouldn't go that way any more. This may seem like common sense and over-spiritualization to you, but I refuse to live in fear, and I wasn't going to back down just because I was beginning to get nervous. But having God confirm that I needed to stay out of there, I feel sure that I'm being wise, not just scared.

But I'm running out of computer time, so I have to go.

Saturday, May 19, 2007

It's Cold

I still have a lot to say on the subject of airguns, "bad neighborhoods", and fear, but I'm not in the mood right now.

It's cold. I'm in Killarney at the library with my mom. The place still smells the same. I don't know if it's the old books or the old building, but this place has smelled this way for at least 30 years. It's kind of funny and comforting. I don't run into aromas very often that can take me down memory lane, but I can clearly remember being 5 in this place.

It's kind of fun.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Oh life! It can just come around and bite you on the a**.

So I last blogged about how I love my neighbourhood. This is still true. However, if you read Joyska's comment, you may be wondering about the house on the corner. Well, it's a rooming house, and one of the rooms is inhabited by a BB or pellet gun toting idiot who shot Joyska a few days ago, since my last blog session. She's OK, or was last I saw her, but suffered some pain to the ear. I really wish she'd call the police, but I will respect her choice not to and not call them either. But I feel like I shouldn't just let it go.

I have an idea to write up a flyer basically saying what happened and where the guy lives and distribute it around the neighbourhood, including his mail box. Then at least the guy would know he's being watched. And the flyer would encourage people to call the cops if they had any issues. I've mentioned this to some people, one of which said I'd be taking a risk. Maybe. I have certainly thought of that. But the guy can't see my place from his place. The one house between us is blocking the view. And it's unlikely he knows where I live. And if I made such a flyer, it would give absolutely no indication at all about where I live. Maybe he'd see me deliver it, but likely not. And even if he did see me, I'm just not too worried about it.

It seems to me a lot of people get away with a lot of stuff just because nobody says anything. Like that girl from my church who was severely beaten a couple of weeks ago. She was on Main Street. It wasn't very late. She ran out into traffic hoping someone would stop. She got no help for 15 minutes or more, by which time she was in bad shape. And her attackers will likely try to pull that stunt again because they can.

I, inspired by Harry Lehotsky, want to be someone with the guts to stand up and say no. That will mean taking risks. I may also take a licking once in a while. But if the good guys (and gals) stay silent, the bad guys win by default. I don't want to see them get off that easy. The more I think about it, the more I want to print up that flyer.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

I LOVE my neighbourhood

I live in the part of my city that most people fear, the one with the reputation for the most crime and danger. I don't have a car, so I walk all the time, to bus stops if not further. Some people think I'm nuts, even some who live in the same neighbourhood. I want to know what's wrong with them. Why have they bought in to the hype?

Random crimes are really not that common in my area. You get house break-ins, but that usually occurs when one is not at home. There was a rape near my house a few months back, but there was also one across the city in a "safe" neighbourhood, in the middle of the day, when a 15 year old girl was home alone, with the doors locked, and a man forced his way in. Car thefts and break-ins occur all over the city. Most crime does. I don't really get why people think my neighbourhood is so much worse.

I think mostly it's prejudice. I live where the street people and hookers are, but they won't bug you most of the time, and after a while you learn how to deal with or avoid them, neither of which is difficult. And, the area is poor. People seem to assume poor=criminal. That's ridiculous, and they just need to drop that idea.

What people don't see is the beauty of the old, established trees, the character of homes that have been inhabited for 100 years, the natural beauty that thrives in large part thanks to the trees. They don't see the people who live in the houses, and how their mostly just ordinary folk who are fabulous to know. And, they don't consider how convenient it is to live right in the middle of the city.

People need to stop letting fear form their opinions for them.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

This is why

In a comment, Lanney asked why certain Japanese folk lock themselves away. Well, take yourself back to the most intense peer pressure experience you ever had, the one where you really didn't want to do or be involved in what was going on, you really wanted to get away, and you just had the worst feeling in the pit of your stomach about the whole thing. Whatever the situation, you were convinced it was bad, and felt even worse knowing everyone around you at that moment wanted you to go their way, and they were not going to like you if you didn't. So you were stuck between your conscience and your peers. Pressure!! If you choose to go with your peers, the pressure alleviates. If you don't, at least you can go home and get away from the peers for a bit. You can find some "shelter" from the pressure.

Now imagine that such a peer pressure situation isn't an isolated event that you come across in certain circles in life, but that your whole country is exerting that kind of pressure on you, including your family and closest friends. What are your options for getting out from under the pressure? Well, there's conformity on one side, and in Japan at least, suicide and complete isolation on the other. Suicide and isolation are the "shelter".

Now, of course, the overall situation in Japan is not that simple, as life never is. Japanese people are individuals as much as anyone; the amounts of pressure they feel or exert on each other vary, and the ways they choose to cope are numerous. Not everyone who disagrees with the societal peer pressure becomes isolated or suicidal. Not everyone disagrees with the norms of their society. Those who lock themselves away are some who have chosen not to conform. And yet it would seem they have enough hope not to give themselves over to despair and suicide, although there have been cases where in time they did. Pray for these people, they are trapped in a form of hell that we in North America are fortunate to find very strange.

Friday, April 13, 2007

First Time

I got a massage for the first time yesterday, a real, professional one. It hurt, but not real bad. Apparently I was really tight and she was taking it easy on me. I'm not surprised. I've likely built up a lot of tension over the years. It made me sleepy and I slept the afternoon away. But I haven't felt so good in a while.

It looks like spring may finally be coming to this lovely city. I declare that with extreme caution.
You just never know around here, not until June, anyway.

I'm reading a book on Japan, which I first borrowed from the library but then quickly went out and bought so I could mark it up and keep it. It is called Shutting out the Sun: How Japan Created Its Own Lost Generation. It's fascinating for someone who loves Japan, like me. It's about many things, but I'm still at the beginning where the author writes about the people who lock themselves away, usually in their rooms, and never come out. This guy has interviewed them, and from what he's written I want to meet them my self. I always figured they were mentally ill people and dangerous, but the ones in the book are intelligent, articulate, and very interesting. I guess there is some degree of illness, but not like I think of it. They're not crazy. Anyway, you should read the book.

Friday, February 23, 2007

Update

Ok Lanney. I've been thinking I should update this for a while. For all who are wondering, this blog isn't dead and neither am I. I just haven't been making an effort to blog, mostly because my life seems rather bland since coming back from Japan. It's fun to blog when you think you're going to entertain people somewhat, but I don't want to bore you.

I am still working nights at my job. What goes on there is supposed to remain confidential, so I can't say much about that. I'll just say that I find myself with plenty of opportunity to practice having patience, and that I am learning how terrible it is to spoil a child. If you have children, don't do it. It can have serious consequences. That's all I can say about that, except perhaps keep in mind that I work with adults.

I am going to start an internship at my church. This is the first step toward becoming a pastor in the denomination I attend. So it's a dream coming true. I feel somewhat excited, but mostly terrified and overwhelmed. And I haven't even started yet. So if you're a praying person, pray for me. I'll be getting involved with something called the Flatlander's Inn. It is an attempt to help the down and out get a leg up. That's about all I know about it, except that it involves a community of people, some of whom will be sharing the same living space. I won't be one of those.

Anyway, time is already running out on me. Will blog again, sometime.

Recycled Post

Is it environmentally friendly to recycle posts? I wrote this about 14 months ago, and thought I'd bring it up again to remind myself.

Death Wish
I am not suicidal. I feel strongly that life is a precious gift from God that no one has the right to take from anyone else, and that it is the worst of tragedies when someone decides their own life is worthless. I am not suicidal. Just want to make that clear. But, for the first time in my life I want to die. I have always feared the actual dying, and am still not thrilled with the idea of the passing. (I'm hoping for something painless and quick) But I'm no longer afraid to be dead, because last spring I read something that thrills me.
Let me back up a bit. This story begins in my teenage years. I used to talk to God all the time, not knowing if he would talk to me, but figuring that since he is omniscient and omnipresent at least he'd hear me. Often I thought he was talking back to me, that the thoughts that went through my head were more than just thoughts, more than just my own. But I was never sure. Anyway, my favorite topic of conversation was Heaven. I had lots of ideas of what it should be like, and told God that even though he's sovereign and gets the final say, Heaven should be.....there were lots of things I told him he needed to do.
Anyway, in spring a friend shared a book with me written by a man who was taken to Heaven for a visit (out of the body or in the body I don't know). And I am now convinced that when I spoke to God, he heard and replied. The things this guy saw were very much how I "imagined" them. He says Heaven is not only city, but the city is surrounded by Paradise, that most beautiful garden where Adam and Eve started out. I was so thrilled at that, I just can't tell you. See, I don't particularly like cities, and couldn't see how Heaven could be heavenly without the beauty of natural creation. Also, what are the odds of this man's experience and mine bringing up the same ideas? He also saw homes outside of Zion in Paradise, and was told that some people wanted to live out there and got what they wanted. I'm one of those people!!! In fact, one of my greatest desires regarding Heaven has been living in the countryside, between the mountains and the prairie, next to the River of Life. I'm going there someday!! Thus my death wish. I'm convinced that Heaven is everything I hoped for and more, and I want to go there and live in the Presence of the Loving Creator in his perfect home as soon as possible. I often find myself sighing and wishing I could move on. I have a great life, but Heaven will be so much better.
So I'm thrilled, not just at the hope of Heaven, but at knowing that when I speak to God, he hears and replies.Life on earth is a precious gift, and I will do my best not to squander it. God has my days here numbered, and I will respect His timeline, but if he took me home tomorrow, I wouldn't mind