I Digressed

to digress and to take a rabbit trail are the same thing. I know you were dying to know.

I am listening to the radio and just heard a song I'd never heard before. It talks about every moment being a moment for praise, just because "I'm alive", as the singer sings. (it's Steven Curtis Chapman, by the way) That just really spoke to me. Life in itself is a gift. I've thought about that at times. It usually comes up when I'm pondering the purpose of my life and how to best live it. I want to live my life following Christ, and accept that that means sacrifice and putting others first (I've got the theory down, if not yet the practice). But when God created humans, they didn't have the mandate of Christ, for their relationship with God hadn't been disrupted. So just hanging out with God and existing was enough, and having dominion over all the Earth, whatever that meant. (Think about it. In a perfect world, there would be no conflict, so what would one have dominion over? Why have a dominant species when everyone's getting along anyway? I'm sure there's an answer to that. Any ideas?) But, I digress. Or maybe I don't digress. Maybe I just rabbit trail. What exactly does "digress" mean? I'll get my dictionary out later.

Ok. So what I'd like to say is that life is good just because. Just because. And though there are many days when that is easy to forget, the song on the radio reminded me of all the days I'm happy just to be able to witness a beautiful day and take it in.

I just re-read my blog and am getting blown away by my own thoughts. I don't mean that nearly as arrogantly as it sounds. It's just I never thought about "having dominion" in a perfect world before. What does that tell us about government and governing? So much of the politics of the human race is about avoiding or managing conflicts and problems. In a perfect world would we be completely free of problems, or would we just have all the perfect solutions? How would governments have developed through the millenia if no one had ever allowed sin to be introduced to this Earth? What would they do? Maybe instead of the department of defense we'd have the department of encouragement and random acts of kindness. Dept.of E.R.A.O.K I'd enjoy heading that up!!

Walk the Line

I went to see Walk the Line yesterday, the movie about Johnny Cash. It's a little about his rise to fame and a lot about the love of his life. It really is a beautiful story. But I wondered how Cash would tell the story himself. I wonder how much of his success he would attribute to God, not just June. I liked the movie, it's a good story, and a true story, just not the whole truth. I think I'll read the books Cash wrote about himself some day. Can't wait to sing with him in Heaven!! And that Joaquin Phoenix. What a babe. Hope he makes it to Heaven!! Though by then I'll have my eyes stuck on Jesus, and probably won't notice him anyway. Whatever.

If you don't know what Homestar Runner is, check this out now. www.homestarrunner.com
You can thank me later.

I am going to see Harry Potter this weekend. He's kind of my guilty pleasure, because I find him so entertaining, but I'm not sure I should be supporting his empire. Can it be worse than shopping at Wal-Mart or buying NIKE?

I'm tired. Be back soon.

Too pastel

This is way too pastel a blog for me, but I thought this template might be easier to use to learn how to insert my own photos. I want to design my own blog! Anyone got some good web sites with how-to tips?

Come to think of it, even in Star Wars there were shades of grey, weren't there? Luke didn't think his father was beyond redemption.

Anyway, today wasn't stressful, but I spent the day learning about protecting vulnerable persons. Felt like today was sort of part 2 of yesterday in that sex slaves are vulnerable, the handicapped can be vulnerable--see the link? I work with the mentally handicapped. It's part of my job to watch out for them. Got to save the world by starting in my own back yard, I guess.

By the way, my sister's not a demanding person. She's really very sweet. Don't want to give the wrong impression about her.

Blog already, she says. And so I obey the demands of my little sister. I wanted to wait and make this site more personal and pretty before I started using and listing it, but I have to learn how to do that, or break down and pay someone to teach me. I know where to go for lessons, I'm just too cheap.

Anyway, I would describe today as a day from hell, except for what I saw on Dr Phil's show today. My day was six hours of waiting for CAA to come and help me with my car, all the while worrying about repair costs and such. 2 of those hours I waited outside, due to miscommunications and CAA not finding me. In the end there was no problem, which puzzles and annoys me, but, the whole story is too dull to bore you with. The point is, I was frustrated to tears.

Yet, the whole time I couldn't forget about the girls kidnapped into sex slavery that Dr. Phil talked about today. (They think it's possible that is what happened to Natalee Holloway.) I kind of feel lucky to be free to have car problems. Yet--woah, so many things were going through my mind, I can hardly organize them now.

I thought, yeah, they have bigger problems, but that doesn't make me or my problems stupid or insignificant. I mean, I want to have perspective, but I don't want to be shoved in a corner and ignored.

I thought alot about how my car problems really bug me because I worry about the cost, and they make me feel alone. I mean, I know nothing about cars, and hate having to deal with repairs because I never know if a mechanic is taking me for a sucker or not (though I think I've found a trustworthy one now), and in my head that's an overwhelming problem I hate having to deal with.

I wondered if God let me see that show so I could pray the girls to safety. I wondered why he'd let them suffer for years waiting to show me to pray. I wondered how many people have been praying for their release. I wondered why God hasn't got them out already. I wondered why he has protected me so well all my life. I wondered why he lets innocents get caught in hell-on-earth. If you didn't see the show today, all I'm going to say here is that they showed and talked about things that I never thought one human could do to another. Shocking, gross stuff. And to think that many of the girls are taken before they hit puberty. Their lives are stolen, they live -- there aren't words for the horror of their existence.

I don't want to turn my head from the horrors of this world anymore. I believe that God is great and good, even though I don't understand his ways. I want to fight against all that evil. But it just seems so big. And as much as what I saw and heard today makes me want to hunt down the pimps and jons and slowly and cruelly torture them before putting them to death, I am convinced that violence is not the way to peace on earth, and that Jesus would not approve of my doing that, though I think he'd agree that they deserve as much and worse. I wish life was Star Wars, where the good guys are good, and the bad guys are bad, and you can just knock evil dudes dead without any consideration for their humanity. But life's not that black and white, is it?