Blog already, she says. And so I obey the demands of my little sister. I wanted to wait and make this site more personal and pretty before I started using and listing it, but I have to learn how to do that, or break down and pay someone to teach me. I know where to go for lessons, I'm just too cheap.

Anyway, I would describe today as a day from hell, except for what I saw on Dr Phil's show today. My day was six hours of waiting for CAA to come and help me with my car, all the while worrying about repair costs and such. 2 of those hours I waited outside, due to miscommunications and CAA not finding me. In the end there was no problem, which puzzles and annoys me, but, the whole story is too dull to bore you with. The point is, I was frustrated to tears.

Yet, the whole time I couldn't forget about the girls kidnapped into sex slavery that Dr. Phil talked about today. (They think it's possible that is what happened to Natalee Holloway.) I kind of feel lucky to be free to have car problems. Yet--woah, so many things were going through my mind, I can hardly organize them now.

I thought, yeah, they have bigger problems, but that doesn't make me or my problems stupid or insignificant. I mean, I want to have perspective, but I don't want to be shoved in a corner and ignored.

I thought alot about how my car problems really bug me because I worry about the cost, and they make me feel alone. I mean, I know nothing about cars, and hate having to deal with repairs because I never know if a mechanic is taking me for a sucker or not (though I think I've found a trustworthy one now), and in my head that's an overwhelming problem I hate having to deal with.

I wondered if God let me see that show so I could pray the girls to safety. I wondered why he'd let them suffer for years waiting to show me to pray. I wondered how many people have been praying for their release. I wondered why God hasn't got them out already. I wondered why he has protected me so well all my life. I wondered why he lets innocents get caught in hell-on-earth. If you didn't see the show today, all I'm going to say here is that they showed and talked about things that I never thought one human could do to another. Shocking, gross stuff. And to think that many of the girls are taken before they hit puberty. Their lives are stolen, they live -- there aren't words for the horror of their existence.

I don't want to turn my head from the horrors of this world anymore. I believe that God is great and good, even though I don't understand his ways. I want to fight against all that evil. But it just seems so big. And as much as what I saw and heard today makes me want to hunt down the pimps and jons and slowly and cruelly torture them before putting them to death, I am convinced that violence is not the way to peace on earth, and that Jesus would not approve of my doing that, though I think he'd agree that they deserve as much and worse. I wish life was Star Wars, where the good guys are good, and the bad guys are bad, and you can just knock evil dudes dead without any consideration for their humanity. But life's not that black and white, is it?