Death Wish

I am not and never have been suicidal. I feel strongly that life is a precious gift from God that no one has the right to take from anyone else, and that it is the worst of tragedies when someone decides their own life is worthless. I am not suicidal. Just want to make that clear.
But, for the first time in my life I want to die. I have always feared the actual dying, and am still not thrilled with the idea of the passing. (I'm hoping for something painless and quick) But I'm no longer afraid to be dead, because last spring I read something that thrills me.
Let me back up a bit. This story begins in my teenage years. I used to talk to God all the time, not knowing if he would talk to me, but figuring that since he is omniscient and omnipresent at least he'd hear me. Often I thought he was talking back to me, that the thoughts that went through my head were more than just thoughts, more than just my own. But I was never sure. Anyway, my favorite topic of conversation was Heaven. I had lots of ideas of what it should be like, and told God that even though he's sovereign and gets the final say, Heaven should be.....there were lots of things I told him he needed to do.
Anyway, in spring a friend shared a book with me written by a man who was taken to Heaven for a visit (out of the body or in the body I don't know). And I am now convinced that when I spoke to God, he heard and replied. The things this guy saw were very much how I "imagined" them. He says Heaven is not only city, but the city is surrounded by Paradise, that most beautiful garden where Adam and Eve started out. I was so thrilled at that, I just can't tell you. See, I don't particularly like cities, and couldn't see how Heaven could be heavenly without the beauty of natural creation. Also, what are the odds of this man's experience and mine bringing up the same ideas? He also saw homes outside of Zion in Paradise, and was told that some people wanted to live out there and got what they wanted. I'm one of those people!!! In fact, one of my greatest desires regarding Heaven has been living in the countryside, between the mountains and the prairie, next to the River of Life. I'm going there someday!! Thus my death wish. I'm convinced that Heaven is everything I hoped for and more, and I want to go there and live in the Presence of the Loving Creator in his perfect home as soon as possible. I often find myself sighing and wishing I could move on. I have a great life, but Heaven will be so much better.
So I'm thrilled, not just at the hope of Heaven, but at knowing that when I speak to God, he hears and replies.
Life on earth is a precious gift, and I will do my best not to squander it. God has my days here numbered, and I will respect His timeline, but if he took me home tomorrow, I wouldn't mind.