I'm Just Sick

It happened again tonight. I came across a discussion on sexual slavery as I flipped through TV channels. This issue keeps coming up.

So I have spent the last couple of hours on the net looking up aid agencies and thinking about how to get involved. And coming across a lot of other info as well. We live in a sick world. How do people handle it when they don't believe in a God who will avenge all and protect in the mean time?

Anyway, I'm on a war path. I want to head out on the streets right now and kick pimp ass (I'd be sure to find some, it's 2:18 am) I've had a hero complex ever since my days of playing Luke Skywalker (not Leia, I wanted to be the real hero) and Charlie's Angels.

But I'm thinking hard about what to do and how to educate myself so I won't jump in blindly and do something stupid. And it occurs to me the smartest thing to do is go to the highest court of justice there is, and that means getting on my knees and praying. Then I'll listen, and see if my Lord wants me to do any more. If not, that's fine, cause my prayers will be fighting the battle in the heavenlies, and you can't do more than that.

Pray for the slaves and victims everywhere. You may one day have the joy of meeting the ones your prayers released.

Just Thinking

Here's an article I pulled from the Elijah List. It's a prophetic site. Check it out if you're curious. www.elijahlist.com
Anyway, I'm not endorsing this article, per se, but I like it and want to contemplate it and refer back to it sometimes, so I thought I'd copy it here, where I can always find it. I do endorse the Elijah List. I'm not saying it's perfect, but I've read a lot of great things there.


"How to Awaken Your Womb of Promise!"

-Dr. Undrai & Bridget Fizer

Undrai & Bridget Fizer International

Your desires are truly validated when you know how to articulate them. Articulating your desire proves that you have taken the time to become intimate with them to the point of being able to speak about them.

There are many who have multiple desires to the point where they cannot focus correctly. Wherever there is much distraction, there is a lack of Discipline. Wherever there is a lack of Discipline, there is a lack of attention, value, and commitment.

When you are dealing with God and the desires of your heart, you must master the art of hearing strategies when it's silent. God is so incredible that He has the capacity to speak soundly when things are so very quiet. You must learn how to hear the Word of God that's assigned for you, even if it doesn't materialize in a regularly scheduled worship service or gathering. At times, God will speak to your heart without informing you that He is about to speak to your heart (see I Samuel 3:1-10).

Recognize The Seasons That God Will Introduce To You

When you have become intimate with true desire, God at times will not tell you what to do to get it. Your intimacy will instruct you on how to discover the hiding place of your significant desire.

"It is the Glory of God to conceal a matter; to search out a matter is the glory of king." -Proverbs 25:2

The Shunamite woman desired to be a mother so desperately in her heart. She could just see herself conceiving and delivering a child. She could just feel her identity changing from wife to mother. She could tangibly feel herself taking care of their new child. She felt this, even before she was to conceive. She was already a mother, even before the act of becoming one itself (see II Kings 4:8-17)! Have you become what you so truly desire?

When she saw the man of God walking in the city, she invited him to come and eat. It became a habit to feed him in her house every time he walked into the city. She recognized that he was anointed to the point of awakening her womb of prophetic hope and promise. It is imperative that you recognize the seasons that God will introduce to you in order to awaken your womb of promise. She was intimate with her desire. She knew what she wanted, when she wanted it, and the atmosphere that it was going to take to make it happen!

Have you recognized the type of atmosphere that is necessary to provoke the seed in your womb? When the prophetic seed is divinely provoked, believe me, it will discover a way to Manifest itself!

Expansion

She then prepared a room for the man of God. Her desires instructed her to expand her borders as a result of receiving the Power of God that was resonating through the body of her house guest. When you recognize the atmosphere of change, it is imperative for you to make room for it in your life. When you expand your mentality as a result of receiving the Word of God, your life will also expand.

Receiving, without expansion, is a result of barrenness. If you want to see fruit in a dry place, expand your horizons when you hear the Word of God in faith (see II Peter 1:5-8).

When your Desire is truly from God, no one will have to tell you to become intimate with it. No one will have to tell you what to do with it. The prophet did not tell the woman to do anything. He simply walked into the city. He simply walked out the Word that apprehended his life. He gave her no instruction. She did all the work!

When you have validated your desire, YOU WILL DO ALL THE WORK! You will hear from God yourself. You simply need to recognize the atmospheres of change that will walk amongst you. There are many who possess an atmosphere that will make things awaken in you. It is not the person per se, but it is the Atmosphere that they have become intimate with that will awaken your womb of promise.

When your desires are true, the intimacy that you have towards them will cause your desires to become validated, substantiated, and manifested. It will make you do all the work that is necessary to prepare for manifestation. Your Desires are true when they begin to train you themselves!

Dr. Undrai FizerUndrai & Bridget Fizer International
http://www.fizer.org/ undraifizer@sbcglobal.net

Googled Myself

I googled myself, and I found something that I'm pretty sure I wrote to the MB Herald years back. Since I don't have any particular blog inspiration today, I'll use this. It's still up to date.

One cell in many
Gerald Janzen (Letters, Feb. 18) wrote that commitment to the church is essential and should be made wholeheartedly. I agree. He also stated, “When we were baptized, we were baptized into the local body of Christ.” Perhaps I read that sentence too narrowly, but that was never the intent of my baptism. I chose to be baptized because I loved Jesus and wanted to publicly say so. I joined the church because it is the family Jesus provided for my nurture and support and because it is the Bride of Christ. At no time did I understand I was being baptized solely into that congregation. I was taking a stand for Christ, and the congregation I was baptized at was the cell of Christ’s body in which He’d placed me to function – one cell among many. Since my baptism, I have been a part of two other congregations of two other denominations. At no time did I feel the need to be baptized into their congregations, nor was it required of me. I found the same Christian love and acceptance that the congregation of my baptism had given me. My baptism had brought me into the whole body of Christ.

Let us be clear on this point. Yes, we must function locally. A cell must function where it has been placed. If you are in a finger, you won’t be doing footwork. But let’s never lose sight of the truth that we are part of a whole, and the cells in the foot are as much our family as those in the surrounding fingers. This realization is essential for us if the body of Christ is ever to dispel the illness of infighting and break down the walls denominations and even congregations have built. Jesus’ prayer was: “I do not pray for the world but for those whom You have given Me [does this not cross denominational boundaries?], for they are Yours . . . Holy Father, keep through Your name those whom You have given Me, that they may be one as We are” (John 17:9,11b, NKJV).
Cheryl Janzen

Night Shifts

I've had 3 night shifts in the past 4 days. They're evil. But I make good money doing them.

It's warming up here. They say Christmas Day may have a temperature of plus 2.

I want to keep up this blog, but I'm too tired to right now. Later.

I Got Good News

I got a letter yesterday from Compassion Canada about the child I sponsor. He is being withdrawn from the program, because HIS FAMILY IS NOW TOO RICH TO QUALIFY!!! Isn't that great?!!?!! I am so excited for them. It is so great to hear a story of prosperity for a (formerly) poor family. Praise God for his provision. Praise God for good news!!

Death Wish

I am not and never have been suicidal. I feel strongly that life is a precious gift from God that no one has the right to take from anyone else, and that it is the worst of tragedies when someone decides their own life is worthless. I am not suicidal. Just want to make that clear.
But, for the first time in my life I want to die. I have always feared the actual dying, and am still not thrilled with the idea of the passing. (I'm hoping for something painless and quick) But I'm no longer afraid to be dead, because last spring I read something that thrills me.
Let me back up a bit. This story begins in my teenage years. I used to talk to God all the time, not knowing if he would talk to me, but figuring that since he is omniscient and omnipresent at least he'd hear me. Often I thought he was talking back to me, that the thoughts that went through my head were more than just thoughts, more than just my own. But I was never sure. Anyway, my favorite topic of conversation was Heaven. I had lots of ideas of what it should be like, and told God that even though he's sovereign and gets the final say, Heaven should be.....there were lots of things I told him he needed to do.
Anyway, in spring a friend shared a book with me written by a man who was taken to Heaven for a visit (out of the body or in the body I don't know). And I am now convinced that when I spoke to God, he heard and replied. The things this guy saw were very much how I "imagined" them. He says Heaven is not only city, but the city is surrounded by Paradise, that most beautiful garden where Adam and Eve started out. I was so thrilled at that, I just can't tell you. See, I don't particularly like cities, and couldn't see how Heaven could be heavenly without the beauty of natural creation. Also, what are the odds of this man's experience and mine bringing up the same ideas? He also saw homes outside of Zion in Paradise, and was told that some people wanted to live out there and got what they wanted. I'm one of those people!!! In fact, one of my greatest desires regarding Heaven has been living in the countryside, between the mountains and the prairie, next to the River of Life. I'm going there someday!! Thus my death wish. I'm convinced that Heaven is everything I hoped for and more, and I want to go there and live in the Presence of the Loving Creator in his perfect home as soon as possible. I often find myself sighing and wishing I could move on. I have a great life, but Heaven will be so much better.
So I'm thrilled, not just at the hope of Heaven, but at knowing that when I speak to God, he hears and replies.
Life on earth is a precious gift, and I will do my best not to squander it. God has my days here numbered, and I will respect His timeline, but if he took me home tomorrow, I wouldn't mind.

I Digressed

to digress and to take a rabbit trail are the same thing. I know you were dying to know.

I am listening to the radio and just heard a song I'd never heard before. It talks about every moment being a moment for praise, just because "I'm alive", as the singer sings. (it's Steven Curtis Chapman, by the way) That just really spoke to me. Life in itself is a gift. I've thought about that at times. It usually comes up when I'm pondering the purpose of my life and how to best live it. I want to live my life following Christ, and accept that that means sacrifice and putting others first (I've got the theory down, if not yet the practice). But when God created humans, they didn't have the mandate of Christ, for their relationship with God hadn't been disrupted. So just hanging out with God and existing was enough, and having dominion over all the Earth, whatever that meant. (Think about it. In a perfect world, there would be no conflict, so what would one have dominion over? Why have a dominant species when everyone's getting along anyway? I'm sure there's an answer to that. Any ideas?) But, I digress. Or maybe I don't digress. Maybe I just rabbit trail. What exactly does "digress" mean? I'll get my dictionary out later.

Ok. So what I'd like to say is that life is good just because. Just because. And though there are many days when that is easy to forget, the song on the radio reminded me of all the days I'm happy just to be able to witness a beautiful day and take it in.

I just re-read my blog and am getting blown away by my own thoughts. I don't mean that nearly as arrogantly as it sounds. It's just I never thought about "having dominion" in a perfect world before. What does that tell us about government and governing? So much of the politics of the human race is about avoiding or managing conflicts and problems. In a perfect world would we be completely free of problems, or would we just have all the perfect solutions? How would governments have developed through the millenia if no one had ever allowed sin to be introduced to this Earth? What would they do? Maybe instead of the department of defense we'd have the department of encouragement and random acts of kindness. Dept.of E.R.A.O.K I'd enjoy heading that up!!

Walk the Line

I went to see Walk the Line yesterday, the movie about Johnny Cash. It's a little about his rise to fame and a lot about the love of his life. It really is a beautiful story. But I wondered how Cash would tell the story himself. I wonder how much of his success he would attribute to God, not just June. I liked the movie, it's a good story, and a true story, just not the whole truth. I think I'll read the books Cash wrote about himself some day. Can't wait to sing with him in Heaven!! And that Joaquin Phoenix. What a babe. Hope he makes it to Heaven!! Though by then I'll have my eyes stuck on Jesus, and probably won't notice him anyway. Whatever.

If you don't know what Homestar Runner is, check this out now. www.homestarrunner.com
You can thank me later.

I am going to see Harry Potter this weekend. He's kind of my guilty pleasure, because I find him so entertaining, but I'm not sure I should be supporting his empire. Can it be worse than shopping at Wal-Mart or buying NIKE?

I'm tired. Be back soon.

Too pastel

This is way too pastel a blog for me, but I thought this template might be easier to use to learn how to insert my own photos. I want to design my own blog! Anyone got some good web sites with how-to tips?

Come to think of it, even in Star Wars there were shades of grey, weren't there? Luke didn't think his father was beyond redemption.

Anyway, today wasn't stressful, but I spent the day learning about protecting vulnerable persons. Felt like today was sort of part 2 of yesterday in that sex slaves are vulnerable, the handicapped can be vulnerable--see the link? I work with the mentally handicapped. It's part of my job to watch out for them. Got to save the world by starting in my own back yard, I guess.

By the way, my sister's not a demanding person. She's really very sweet. Don't want to give the wrong impression about her.

Blog already, she says. And so I obey the demands of my little sister. I wanted to wait and make this site more personal and pretty before I started using and listing it, but I have to learn how to do that, or break down and pay someone to teach me. I know where to go for lessons, I'm just too cheap.

Anyway, I would describe today as a day from hell, except for what I saw on Dr Phil's show today. My day was six hours of waiting for CAA to come and help me with my car, all the while worrying about repair costs and such. 2 of those hours I waited outside, due to miscommunications and CAA not finding me. In the end there was no problem, which puzzles and annoys me, but, the whole story is too dull to bore you with. The point is, I was frustrated to tears.

Yet, the whole time I couldn't forget about the girls kidnapped into sex slavery that Dr. Phil talked about today. (They think it's possible that is what happened to Natalee Holloway.) I kind of feel lucky to be free to have car problems. Yet--woah, so many things were going through my mind, I can hardly organize them now.

I thought, yeah, they have bigger problems, but that doesn't make me or my problems stupid or insignificant. I mean, I want to have perspective, but I don't want to be shoved in a corner and ignored.

I thought alot about how my car problems really bug me because I worry about the cost, and they make me feel alone. I mean, I know nothing about cars, and hate having to deal with repairs because I never know if a mechanic is taking me for a sucker or not (though I think I've found a trustworthy one now), and in my head that's an overwhelming problem I hate having to deal with.

I wondered if God let me see that show so I could pray the girls to safety. I wondered why he'd let them suffer for years waiting to show me to pray. I wondered how many people have been praying for their release. I wondered why God hasn't got them out already. I wondered why he has protected me so well all my life. I wondered why he lets innocents get caught in hell-on-earth. If you didn't see the show today, all I'm going to say here is that they showed and talked about things that I never thought one human could do to another. Shocking, gross stuff. And to think that many of the girls are taken before they hit puberty. Their lives are stolen, they live -- there aren't words for the horror of their existence.

I don't want to turn my head from the horrors of this world anymore. I believe that God is great and good, even though I don't understand his ways. I want to fight against all that evil. But it just seems so big. And as much as what I saw and heard today makes me want to hunt down the pimps and jons and slowly and cruelly torture them before putting them to death, I am convinced that violence is not the way to peace on earth, and that Jesus would not approve of my doing that, though I think he'd agree that they deserve as much and worse. I wish life was Star Wars, where the good guys are good, and the bad guys are bad, and you can just knock evil dudes dead without any consideration for their humanity. But life's not that black and white, is it?